Itās almost Christmas 2021, and Iām feeling good but a little mellow. As the year comes to a close, I look back at the ups and downs, yet thankfully, I still find myself getting inspired by life. If you look for blessings, theyāll always be there to behold. Weāve been able to make some long-awaited improvements on our house this year, and we are feeling very blessed indeed!
In fact, weāve had lots of work done in our backyard, so now weāre celebrating our efforts with our first āboostedā party since the pandemic began. Iām sitting here drinking my coffee and eating a chocolate-covered cream-filled pastry, which I really shouldnāt be eating. Nevertheless, as I savor each bite, I look at our Christmas tree. Itās beautiful and comforting, even though itās artificial. I think, āAm I artificial?ā I can see through the branches of the tree, and I wonder if anyone can see through me.Ā
I ask, because my husband and I went to his school holiday party recently, where everyone had to show their vaccination cards, and we were able to take our masks off. Well, at least the actual masks. Who knows how many emotional masks were still on, and maybe never get taken off? Because, of course, it doesnāt take a pandemic for people to hide in plain sight. I confess, I still had my emotional mask on, because Iām an introvert and being around lots of people can be exhausting.
One woman, wearing a serious face, came up to my husband at the party and engaged him in an earnest conversation. I couldnāt hear everything because it was noisy, and also because she leaned into his ear for certain things. I didnāt recognize her, so I was fascinated to hear who she was and what she was saying. I just stood there with an awkward smile on my face, my mask firmly in place.Ā
Turns out, she finally spoke up to acknowledge and apologize for an incident during a summer program that she was in charge of years ago. My husband had been one of the faculty, and sadly, an unfortunate event happened during the program. This woman had freaked out, canceled the program, and then walked away with barely a word. Since then, no one has ever really talked about it. Quite a revelation for her to come forward after all this time. Itās never too late to open up and communicate what we need to say. She chose to take her mask off and be honest. I applaud her for that.Ā
Gotta say though, sometimes it’s necessary for me to put my mask on, especially if people ask what Iāve been up to. Thatās a tough one because as an actor, there are no guarantees. Iāve been on this acting journey for a long time, and though Iāve had some successes, theyāve been few and far between. Thatās tough to explain and even tougher to swallow. Iām grateful for my husbandās job, which gives us security. But I really wanted to āsucceedā at something.Ā
I once worked in a Wal-Mart and quickly got promoted. Maybe I couldāve been a manager in a company, or a teacher with my music ed degree. Instead, l left small-town life in the Midwest, and chose to move to Los Angeles (of all places!) and attempt an acting career. I struggled a lot as I discovered just how challenging that is. Los Angeles is considered the Entertainment Olympics.Ā
Waitā¦seriously? Come on, I still believe in myself as an actor. I still see myself being on a tv show or in an amazing indie film. I know Iām a good actor with a lot to offer, so maybe I donāt have to throw in the towel just yet. I still think life is full of wonder and joy. Maybe āsuccess” can be defined in different ways. I sure hope so. Like, a happy longtime marriage with the love of my life. Or that we paid off our mortgage early. And most of all, that we take really good care of ourselves and still have our health.
On the career side, Iāve booked a recurring role on a tv show, in which I had the time of my life and will never forget it. And I wrote and produced a comedy web series about menopause that won nine festival awards. (Itās on my YouTube Channel called āLisa Temple Actorā) And perhaps best of all, over the years Iāve made some amazing friends in the biz. I consider them part of my artistic family, and always will.Ā
But back when I got started, it took me a long time to believe I had any real talent, let alone figure out how to even get on the right path. And once I started my journey, I quickly learned I had to completely āretrain my brainā if I truly wanted to succeed.Ā
So I began the step by step, year by year process of proper acting training, competitive materials like headshots and websites, and as the need arose, perhaps the most difficult task of all: submitting professional self tapes that donāt break your budget. Since Iāve had multiple auditions from several well-known casting directors, Iām confident I accomplished these things.Ā
As I grew as an actor, I was able to be myself and become more and more open. As a result, Iām happy to report I donāt wear my emotional mask nearly as often. What a difference itās been to consciously lean into my best self, so that I could be confident, savvy, and skilled. That choice changed my life for the better in a multitude of ways, and Iāll be forever grateful for the many lessons Iāve learned.Ā
So whatās next? Iām ready to make another big change: Iām going gray. I hear silver is in! Itāll take awhile, but as my natural hair color grows in, Iām loving it. Feels good to embrace the fact that Iām āgetting olderā, and am now officially in the āolder woman” category. Iām finding the joy and freedom in that. In truth, life really only exists in the present moment. Letās make the best of it.Ā
Feel free to leave a comment or ask a question. Iād love to hear from you!
Sending Warm Wishes and Happy Holidays!! ššš
Ā
āIām willing to change; to move from being my worst critic to my best cheerleader, and the world says āYesā. Deepak Chopra
Omg! You continue to inspire me. Reading you blog is like taking in fresh air. You have such a genuine, warm and beautiful quality within that just shines in your writing and in everything you do. I appreciate you so much and how you demonstrate true vulnerability in your writing.
Hi Lisa & Rich–
Enjoyed your post! I always enjoy anyone who writes honestly from their heart, and who speaks to many of the same questions that everyone honestly asks themselves at some point. It’s obvious that you do, and you speak for a lot of people in doing it.
For what its worth: the successes & achievements you spoke of in your post are all very worthy successes that anyone should feel good about. So congratulations!!! You’ve done great!!
And I also wanted to wish you both a very Merry Christmas (late), and a blessed, prosperous, all-fulfilling New Year!!
Stan
Thanks so much, not only for reading my blog, but for your lovely comments! I wrote this from my heart, so I’m very glad that it’s helpful in some way. I think all humans have such thoughts, and it can be important to share them. And indeed, I consider myself very blessed and successful, and I try to keep that uppermost in my mind.
Lisa, you write a beautiful message here about believing in one’s self which sounds like it was useful to you, but also you give a gift to others in sharing it. As I read through I felt the warmth of your honesty and sincerity while being able to reflect in the words about my own life. I loved the part, too, about the masks, the most relatable part for me. To be really invisible is probably a lot of fun (write a story about it?), but being invisible to others when we are definitely in 3-D is quite the challenge. Thank you for sharing, and BTW, the patio looks fabulous.
6 Responses
Omg! You continue to inspire me. Reading you blog is like taking in fresh air. You have such a genuine, warm and beautiful quality within that just shines in your writing and in everything you do. I appreciate you so much and how you demonstrate true vulnerability in your writing.
You brought tears to my eyes, Yvette! Thanks from the bottom of my heart ā¤ļø This will make Christmas that much more special, Dear Yvette š
Hi Lisa & Rich–
Enjoyed your post! I always enjoy anyone who writes honestly from their heart, and who speaks to many of the same questions that everyone honestly asks themselves at some point. It’s obvious that you do, and you speak for a lot of people in doing it.
For what its worth: the successes & achievements you spoke of in your post are all very worthy successes that anyone should feel good about. So congratulations!!! You’ve done great!!
And I also wanted to wish you both a very Merry Christmas (late), and a blessed, prosperous, all-fulfilling New Year!!
Stan
Hey Stan,
Thanks so much, not only for reading my blog, but for your lovely comments! I wrote this from my heart, so I’m very glad that it’s helpful in some way. I think all humans have such thoughts, and it can be important to share them. And indeed, I consider myself very blessed and successful, and I try to keep that uppermost in my mind.
A very Happy New Year to you and yours!
Lisa
Lisa, you write a beautiful message here about believing in one’s self which sounds like it was useful to you, but also you give a gift to others in sharing it. As I read through I felt the warmth of your honesty and sincerity while being able to reflect in the words about my own life. I loved the part, too, about the masks, the most relatable part for me. To be really invisible is probably a lot of fun (write a story about it?), but being invisible to others when we are definitely in 3-D is quite the challenge. Thank you for sharing, and BTW, the patio looks fabulous.
What a lovely comment, John. Thanks so much for your kindness! ā¤ļø
Your support over the years has meant a lot to me, and I will always treasure your thoughts. As for writing about how fun “being really invisible” would be, I’ll think on it. And so glad to hear you like our patio!! š¤©