Lisa Temple Actress Your Senator, Doctor, Teacher, Mom

The other day I was alone in the house, because my husband was at his Winter Concert at school. Due to Omicron, no audience was allowed. During this pandemic we’ve spent so much time together (we’re blessed to relish that time), that I feel adrift when he’s gone. Really need to work on that…

So after he left, I quickly turned to the TV, my favorite pacifier. That way I’m not really alone, am I? It’s Australian Open time and we’re huge tennis fans. But really, there’s always something good to stream. Know what I mean? I so enjoy watching relationships play out in a good drama, or gasp during a thriller, or laugh out loud with a good comedy.

I like to justify this habit by saying I’m studying the technique of working actors, and learning how to write for tv and film. We always enjoy dissecting an episode, as we try to figure out how and why they wrote it that way. Makes for a lively discussion!

I’ve also been obsessed with politics and all the insanity that’s going on. I watch news  daily, and read articles online. I’ve tried to limit myself, but it’s too tempting. I’m anxious to hear any good news, and curious to see if the lying will stop. And, of course, I’m still reeling from the memory of the January 6th Insurrection. Like so many, I could not believe my eyes.

And the Big Lie still rages on. It’s not only scary as hell, it’s monumentally disappointing that these supposedly brilliant lawmakers are not only lying through their teeth, only to save their political careers, but they’re getting away with it (for now). I’m very grateful for the January 6th Committee and all the facts that are being uncovered. I pray every day that Congress with ultimately save our Democracy. I often wish there was something I could do, just not sure what.

Anyway, back to my favorite pacifier. I turn on the TV, and I couldn’t get any channels. It seemed the connection was lost between cable and the TV. Naturally, I turned everything off, waited, and tried again many times, with no luck. At first I was frustrated that this happened while I was alone. Dammit. And I would not disturb my husband with this ‘first-world problem’ right before his concert.

So I took a breath and called the cable company, and had our cable box rebooted. I was told it could take up to 20 minutes. I was not happy. I was desperate to watch tennis, but without TV, I decided to look up ESPN+ to see how much it costs. But I knew we didn’t need yet another streaming service, especially since we’d only be watching tennis on there.

I went to another pacifier, the radio, and turned to my favorite station KOST. “The End of the World As We Know It” by R.E.M. was playing. I turned off the radio. I tried the TV again every 5 minutes, always with no luck. 

I stopped and stared at the tv – and it hit me: I might be avoiding my creativity and my purpose in life with all these distractions. But come on, I can’t spend the next several hours alone without TV, can I? Surely no one expects me to sit at the computer and write that whole time. And I wasn’t in the mood to read a book, even though I love reading. For some reason, during this pandemic, I haven’t been calm enough to just sit and read. I can’t even read another favorite pacifier: self-help books. Go figure. Most of the time I just can’t focus. Apparently, I’d rather be distracted by watching other peoples’ creativity, instead of developing my own. 

When the 20 minutes were past, and the tv still didn’t work, I called the cable company back as instructed. Unfortunately, I got a person who was very unhelpful. She was convinced that our problem was one thing when it was actually another. She even expected me to move the plugs around to another “input”. OMG. I actually tried messing with the wires for a bit, before realizing this was insane. I was completely lost behind the tv. 

I acknowledged being lost, so she said she would schedule a technician to come out, but the next available wasn’t until Monday morning. WHAT??!! I laughed. I couldn’t help myself. I said, “I’m sorry, but that’s completely unacceptable. We cannot go all weekend without a tv!” She had no answer for that. I said, “I feel like I need to speak to a supervisor to solve this problem before Monday.”

All she offered was to add a note to the Monday appointment for a technician to call in case they could get here sooner. All I could do was hang up. I was so upset, it never occurred to me that I could’ve simply hung up early on, way before she asked me to move the plugs, then calmly called back for a different, more helpful person. Another life lesson.

This was around 6:30 pm, and my husband’s concert was at 7:00. It was going up on YouTube Live so at least I had that to look forward to. So I just sat back and contemplated that frustrating call. My stomach was in knots. But then, unexpectedly (as I sat there resigned to my fate) a technician actually called. He had a beautifully deep, resonant James-Earl-Jones-type voice that was very soothing. He suggested I turn on the tv so I could tell him the exact error message. 

And lo and behold, when I turned it on, it worked! I was shocked! No idea why it finally worked. I said, “Wow, you must be sending really good vibes!” He said, “Yeah, that’s happened to me before.” I said, “You’re a magician!” He chuckled and said, “I’m glad it’s working. Shall I cancel that Monday appointment?” “Yes, indeed,” I said. Amazing. 

So after listening to my husband’s choir sing beautifully online at the concert, I was able to get back to tennis. Oh joy, oh bliss! (After I congratulated my husband on his excellent work, I told him the whole saga when he got home…)

But my stomach upset lasted the rest of the night. I don’t like it when I can’t have my binky or bobo or whatever you want to call it. Why do I do this to myself? This is a bad habit I’d like to change.

Then just two nights later, we were enjoying our TV pacifier together. We happened to be watching a scene where a huge electrical storm caused the entire city to black out.  Without warning, our lights went out. I gasped and said in a low voice, “Nooooo!” (My husband said later I was so intense that he almost burst out laughing, but he held it in. What a guy.) The house was so dark we couldn’t see our hands in front of our faces. It was unnerving. 

We were about to get up and search for candles, when thankfully, the lights came back on. But before that, I was sitting there for a moment, even more confronted with how reliant I’ve become on my pacifiers; how I use them to pass my time; like I’m doing something useful. It’s frustrating to realize how much more I could’ve accomplished during this time; the projects I’ve never completed or even attempted. Sigh. 

But you know what? A little later I had an instinct to write this blog. I didn’t act on it at first because tennis was so good. But then the thought came up once again, so this time I knew I had to act. I got up off the couch and wrote the idea down on my to-do list. The next day, I wrote this blog. Gotta say, it feels pretty good to choose kindness, especially to myself. 

And it also occurs to me that there’s a solution: every time I feel adrift or frustrated or anxious, I’ll do a meditation. I know that will calm me down, keep me centered, and be healthier all around. My road to creativity lies in that direction.

We’ve been doing Chopra Center Meditations since 2014 and they’ve empowered our lives so much over the years. Just have to get back to doing those more often. As Deepak says, “Being at peace is my greatest strength.”

What are your Pandemic Pacifiers and Solutions?!

Peace,

Lisa